The singer/songwriter explained her confusion about Peter Gunz and his long list of lies in an exclusive interview with CocoaFab.
“Through the things that I had to deal with, I knew it was gonna be hard but not like this,” she says of the shocking season.
“The things that have been happening in the last two weeks, like at the club, I really didn’t put too much thought into it. I felt like I was about to find out something but I was like, letting it happen instead of going for it all. It was crazy.”
According to Amina, she has never been one to go looking for trouble, but her passive attitude couldn’t protect her from learning the truth about her man sexing up his ex, Tara Wallace, after they married.
“I have always been like that in life in general. I don’t try to force things. If I’m gonna know something, I’m gonna find out,” she says. “The thing with K. Michelle and Yandy trying to tell me stuff I didn’t know, thats something I’m really upset with him about because I really didn’t know it was still going on and that was hurtful.”
Even though she still loves her man, Amina admits they shouldn’t be married.
“That’s the reason why him and even me now says that we regret it. We didn’t get married like every other couple. It was just a spontaneous thing that probably should not have happened. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t married to him,” she says. “It has been blown out of proportion and it’s a big thing and now people look at me like I’m stupid because we don’t really live like a married couple and it makes me feel stupid sometimes.”
While she doesn’t agree with everything the haters say, she recognizes her whirlwind wedding was probably a mistake.
“The truth is, we are really not supposed to be married right now. We are supposed to be together and we love each other. Sometimes I’m like, we shouldn’t be married. He is not even somebody I think should be married, ever.”
Knowing the truth doesn’t help the pain of hearing Peter blame their union on alcohol and bad judgement.
“He has called it a mistake and it hurts me. He says he doesn’t regret being married to me, but he regrets doing it without thinking it through. I know that if I would have thought it through myself, we wouldn’t be married,” she says.
“But now that we are, we should make the best of it because we actually are together and we do love each other and what’s wrong with being married? It’s too messy. We should just be together.”
Despite all the drama and lies fans have witnessed on the show, Amina doesn’t think viewers know the whole story.
“I know him. I know Peter. The viewers only him from the show but I know the real him and realize that it’s two different things. It’s not to say I’m not upset because I am offended. We argue every week when I see things that I didn’t know he said or did,” she explains.
“He just feels like what he has done to Tara is ten thousand times worse than what he has done to me. It may be worse, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt and he should just bash me. He says I shouldn’t be complaining because he is dealing with so much and what he has done to her is so extra. Sometimes, I feel like I always fall short.”
Even with the humiliation she has endured at the hands of her husband, Amina insists there is more to Peter than what we see onscreen.
“You have to know him as a person. That’s my thing. The Peter I know doesn’t come across on the show. It’s a personal thing,” she says. ”We just click and I have a connection with him that I have never had with anyone else. The way that it really is can’t be shown… it has to be felt.”
“In real life, he’s a good man with a good heart. The things that he’s doing are messed up and even my family tells me that, but nobody ever knows what goes on between two people except them. Peter and I just have the same views on everything. I feel like what connects me with him is different than what connects him to Tara.”
Amina admits she is constantly confused by the conflict between her head and her heart.
“Again, sometimes I don’t know myself and it’s too much and everyone has an opinion but at the end of the day I have to go with my gut feeling. You just don’t know where to go. It’s confusing,” she says.
“He’s so good at turning everything around and he does it all the time. No matter what I say he always has a way of making me stop. It’s not that I’m stupid. I know what is going on.”
Fury from her friends, family and fans haven’t made it any easier for Amina to ditch the dog she is married to.
“I do see it, but it’s just that I love him. I’m aware and I was aware at that time and it’s just that love makes you do crazy things. That’s really why he shuts me down,” she says. “He has a way of doing that and it might not be good but it is what it is.”