Posted in: Reality TV

‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’ Reunion Recap: “Don’t Come For Me Unless I Send For You!”

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The first installment of The Real Housewives of Atlanta’s three-part reunion kicked off on Sunday night, and the ladies came ready to hash it out. Unfortunately, the hour-long lead up to the next two weeks was a bit uneventful.

Kenya Moore and her giant fan are seated to the right of host, Andy Cohen.  Next to her are Kandi Burruss and Porsha Stewart. To his left are Nene Leakes, Cynthia Bailey and Phaedra Parks.  All of the ladies look great and are looking super fancy for the occasion.

Kenya is offended that only two of her cast mates (NeNe and Cynthia) reached out to her about her cancer scare. She also says she would rather have a threesome with Kandi than Phaedra and Apollo. Eww.

Kandi admits she has been offended by things NeNe has said about her in the press. Her comments about her deceased former flame, A.J., “cut her to the white meat.”  NeNe is unapologetic, even after Kandi reveals her true feelings.  Ouch.

Porsha thinks Kenya has been jealous of her since the day they met. Kenya says she was taken aback by her cheerleader persona. Porsha asks her straight out why she has it out for her and Kenya is suddenly silent. Weird.

Kenya says her Halle Berry, B.A.P.S. suggestion was a compliment to Porsha. When prompted, Cynthia agrees there was shade behind the idea. NeNe explains that Kenya was inappropriate for throwing her out for wearing the wrong costume.  Porsha puts her foot in her mouth by cooing over Kordell Stewart’s chivalrous behavior that night.  “I made a mistake and I shouldn’t have invited her,”  Kenya says, “You are the most bitter person I have ever met in my life.”

Cynthia says her newfound confidence is a result of becoming comfortable in front of the cameras. She denies being two-faced, (even though she kind of was).  She also addresses Porsha’s pageant duty rejection and says she doesn’t regret letting her go.

Now for the booty battle recap.  We’re reminded that Phaedra and Kenya were fast friends from the start until their business dealings went south. Kenya says she didn’t steal her idea. “She doesn’t own the copyright to workout videos. People know my body.  They know what I’m working with.”  She says she cracked Amazon’s top ten list and Phaedra counters by claiming that her video has been an Amazon best-seller three times, outselling Jillian Michaels.

When Phaedra says her hair is always au natural, Kenya calls her bluff.  “She’s a liar.” The pregnant beauty admits, “Sometimes I might clip something in, but I’m not weaved up.” Phaedra calls Kenya out for switching her story so quickly.  First, she supported Phaedra’s fitness endeavors and now she’s constantly criticizing her body.  She says Kenya faked her favorable reviews on Google and was forced to remove them. Kenya calls Phaedra overweight.  “Your BMI is not where it should be,” she says.  Ouch.  She doesn’t defend herself against Phaedra’s numerous allegations of plastic surgery.  She simply calls her “an evil little devil.”

Phaedra clarifies that her issue was the back-end percentages portion of the deal, not paying a fee.  Kenya says she only asked for ten percent of her potential proceeds, and Phaedra says that was unacceptable. Kenya wishes she would have let her produce the project even if she didn’t like the distribution deal.  “Why would I be out here doing a fitness video if I do multi-million dollar films?”  When asked for examples, again, only crickets.  Call me crazy, but Andy Cohen seems like he’s on Phaedra’s side.

During a montage of Kenya’s “Gone With The Wind Fabulous” video, nobody is laughing but her.  Phaedra calls her “Silicone Barbie” for the first of many times. “All she does is sit there and try to slander me,” the beauty queen says of the accomplished attorney. “She made a mockery of mental illness. What you did was unspeakable.”  She’s really mad about Phaedra’s bad-mouthing.  Guess she forgot all the nasty things she said throughout the season. “Don’t come for me unless I send for you.”

Let’s hope part two is a bit more exciting.  If the previews are any indication, it should get interesting when Kim Zolciak returns next week.


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